What is anxiety? And will therapy really help?

• What is anxiety?
• Why is my anxiety so bad?
• Why do people get anxiety?
• Will therapy help my anxiety?
• How to make anxiety stop.

Rather than giving you the simple answer you want, I tell you, "maybe". The uncertainty is infuriating. So what is the point if therapy isn't going to fix me, cure me, stop my anxiety?

So, what is anxiety?

Anxiety has definitions: "a normal human reaction to stress or perceived danger that triggers a physical and emotional 'fight or flight' response" (NHS), "Anxiety is a common emotional state characterised by feelings of unease, such as worry or fear, that can range from mild to severe" (mentalhealth.org). But what I'm interested in as a therapist, is how you define it. Yes, there might be some similarities to the general definitions, but I want to explore together how it feels for you: in your mind, your thoughts, your body, any sensations, any words you use to describe it. Because while we can all experience anxiety, it will be different for each and every person.

Anxiety can fluctuate, which means it can get better sometimes, and worse at other times. Some times in life can be particularly difficult, and we might find ourselves feeling anxiety a lot more and a lot stronger. For some, it feels like they have been living with it every day for as long as they can remember. What may be happening, is that they are stuck in fight or flight mode. An experience may have triggered this, or perhaps there is something in your life that you are repeatedly experiencing that is making you feel this way.

There is no one answer for where anxiety comes from or why people have it. What is important to note, is everyone can experience anxiety, but some suffer a lot more with it. There are many possible reasons for this: it could be a biological, neurochemical reason, it could be traced back to childhood experiences, a traumatic event, or everyday stress.

I would never promise anyone that anxiety will one day stop. It's built into our minds and bodies to keep us safe. However, when it runs wild, it can feel all consuming. What can happen, is the feeling can be reduced, in your mind and body, its impact can lessen, and it can take less control of you and your life.

What anxiety feels like

As a psychotherapist, anxiety is something I am all too familiar with — in myself and in my therapy room. The bodily sensations of your stomach churning, your heart racing, sweating, shaking, hyperventilating, and more. The thoughts racing through your mind. The feeling of uncertainty, dread, nausea, fear. It can be all consuming and overwhelming, making you feel like you're living on a rollercoaster that you just want to get off.

How therapy can help

Whilst therapy won't make it disappear, it can significantly help in several ways. It can name that anxiety; what it means to you, what it looks and feels like for you. We talk through and discover more about your story with anxiety. Together, we can learn more about it, where it may stem from, what may be causing it now, and how we can utilise this awareness and find ways to reduce that anxiety and ultimately make a change in how you feel. Sometimes it may feel like we're going back up that rollercoaster, and you might think "why are we doing this?" But sometimes, we have to do something that makes us feel uncomfortable or scared. Avoiding that feeling reinforces that anxiety — it tells our minds and our bodies that we are right in feeling so anxious about something. When we can build that courage together to try something new and scary, we might just finally find ourselves coming down on the rollercoaster and being able to get off. Finally, our mind and body has new information. Things can be different, you just showed yourself that it is possible.

If you'd like to see how we could work uniquely with your anxiety in therapy, I'd love to hear from you.